I USED TO BE THE KIND OF GUYWHOD NEVER LET YOU LOOK INSIDEID SMILE WHEN I WAS CRYINGI HAD NOTHING BUT A LIFE TO LOOSETHOUGHT I HAD A LOT TO PROOFIN MY LIFE, THERES NO DENYING GOODBYE TO ALL MY YESTERDAYSGOODBYE, SO LONG, IM ON MY WAYIVE HAD ENOUGH OF CRYINBLEEDIN, SWEATIN, DYINHEAR ME WHEN I SAYGONNA LIVE MY LIFE EVERYDAYIM GONNA TOUCH THE SKYAND I SPREAD THESE WINGS AND FLYI AINT HERE TO PLAYIM GONNA LIVE MY LIFE EVERYDAYSTRANGE, EVERYBODYS FEELING STRANGENEVER GONNA BE THE SAMEMAKES YOU WONDER HOW THE WORLD KEEPS TURNINGLIFE, LEARNING HOW TO LIVE MY LIFELEARNING HOW TO PICK MY FIGHTSTAKE MY SHOTS WHILE IM STILL BURNINGGOODBYE TO ALL THOSE RAINY NIGHTS GOODBYE, SO LONG, IM MOVING ON

IM LYING HERE BESIDE YOUIN SOMEONE ELSES BEDKNOWING WHAT WERE DOINGS WRONGBUT BETTER LEFT UNSAIDYOUR BREATHING SOUNDS LIKE SCREAMING, ITS ALL THAT I CAN STANDHIS RING IS ON YOUR FINGER, BUT MY HEART IS IN YOUR HANDS

THIS ROMEO IS BLEEDINGBUT YOU CANT SEE HIS BLOODITS NOTHING BUT SOME FEELINGSTHAT THIS OLD DOG KICKED UPITS BEEN RAINING SINCE YOU LEFT MENOW IM DROWNING IN THE FLOODYOU SEE IVE ALWAYS BEEN A FIGHTERBUT WITHOUT YOU I GIVE UPNOW I CANT SING A LOVE SONGLIKE THE WAY ITS MEANT TO BEWELL, I GUESS IM NOT THAT GOOD ANYMOREBUT BABY, THATS JUST MEAND I WILL LOVE YOU, BABY - ALWAYSAND ILL BE THERE FOREVER AND A DAY - ALWAYSILL BE THERE TILL THE STARS DONT SHINETILL THE HEAVENS BURST ANDTHE WORDS DONT RHYMEAND I KNOW WHEN I DIE, YOULL BE ON MY MINDAND ILL LOVE YOU - ALWAYSNOW YOUR PICTURES THAT YOU LEFT BEHINDARE JUST MEMORIES OF A DIFFERENT LIFESOME THAT MADE US LAUGH, SOME THAT MADE US CRYONE THAT MADE YOU HAVE TO SAY GOODBYEWHAT ID GIVE TO RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH YOUR HAIRTO TOUCH YOUR LIPS, TO HOLD YOU NEARWHEN YOU SAY YOUR PRAYERS TRY TO UNDERSTANDIVE MADE MISTAKES, IM JUST A MANWHEN HE HOLDS YOU CLOSE, WHEN HE PULLS YOU NEARWHEN HE SAYS THE WORDS YOUVE BEEN NEEDING TO HEARILL WISH I WAS HIM CAUSE THOSE WORDS ARE MINETO SAY TO YOU TILL THE END OF TIME

LOOKING AT THE PAGES OF MY LIFE
FADED MEMORIES OF ME AND YOU
MISTAKES YOU KNOW I´VE MADE A FEW
I TOOK SOME SHOTS AND FELL FROM TIME TO TIME
BABY, YOU WERE THERE TO PULL ME THROUGH
WE´VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A TIME OR TWO
I´M GONNA LAY IT ON THE LINE
ASK ME HOW WE´VE COME THIS FAR
THE ANSWER´S WRITTEN IN MY EYES

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU, BABY,
I SEE SOMETHING NEW
THAT TAKES ME HIGHER THAN BEFORE
AND MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE
I DON´T WANNA SLEEP TONIGHT,
DREAMIN´S JUST A WASTE OF TIME
WHEN I LOOK AT WHAT MY LIFE´S BEEN COMIN´ TO
I´M ALL ABOUT LOVIN´ YOU

I´VE LIVED,
I´VE LOVED,
I´VE LOST,
I´VE PAID SOME DUES,
BABY
WE´VE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN
THROUGH IT ALL YOU´RE ALWAYS MY BEST FRIEND
FOR ALL THE WORDS I DIDN´T SAY
AND ALL THE THINGS I DIDN´T DO
TONIGHT I´M GONNA FIND A WAY

Clara14: tenés novia? Hablando en serio, de hermana a hermano.
Hogweed: corté hace un par de semanas
Clara14: ¿por?
Hogweed: porque no se decidía qué hacer con su vida. No sabe nada de nada.
Clara14: ¿y cómo estás?
Hogweed: no estoy mal. No estaba súper enamorado, estábamos bien, la pasábamos bien, pero fue.
Clara14: nueve de cada diez hombres dicen “la pasábamos bien pero”.


{ABZURDAH} :| me impacta. jajaja te amo pau.

'Alejandro' me estaba incitando, de a poco, a que me gustase, a que me excitase, a que piense en él. Me estaba enamorando… y si por fin lograba su cometido, sabía que duraría para siempre. Dicen que el primer amor nunca se olvida. Y es mentira, porque de 'Cocol' me olvidé. Pero de 'Alejandro'… {ABZURDAH}

Relax. Era su premisa, que hoy sonaba dulce y hasta cariñosa, en un pedido de tranquilidad para llevar a mi calma espiritual. Es grandioso cómo a través de los años las personas utilizan las mismas palabras pero para expresar significados completamente opuestos. Años más tarde “relajate” tendría idéntico significado que “no me jodas”.

Acorde transcurrían los días y los meses, mi relación con Hogweed se fue afianzando. Hablábamos todos los días, sin excepción. La siguiente oportunidad que tuve de verlo fue cuando me fue a buscar al colegio una tarde de ese mismo año. Fuimos a tomar algo. Yo un jugo de naranja, él una tónica. Una hora más tarde yo estaba volviendo a casa… y se avecinaba la tormenta.

Yo en pos de mi personalidad obsesiva compulsiva, había estado imprimiendo todas las conversaciones que mantenía por chat con Alejandro. Me gustaba leerlas, llevarlas conmigo a donde fuera. Así, cualquier momento de ocio era transformado en placer por mí en cuanto leía las conversaciones. Es fantástico, descubrí un método de no dejar que pase el tiempo. De no dejar que los momentos de olviden; de hacerle decir una y otra vez las mismas frases: “no temas, bonita”, “tus ganas de verme son correspondidas”, “yo también te quiero mucho”.

Miércoles, 28 de julio de 1999 12:12am

De: Cielo

Para: Hogweed

Te juro que tengo muchas ganas de verte, no sé por qué, realmente no sé. Pero ahora que me voy de vacaciones, me pongo a pensar en que no vamos a chatear por algunas semanas y eso ya no me gusta nada. Hablar con vos es una necesidad, porque realmente me hace muy bien. Cada vez que hablo con vos me dejas boba, porque me sorprendes con esa mezcla de ternura, dulzura, perspicacia e inteligencia. Y por otro lado tengo miedo: porque hoy somos amigos, “hermanos”, pero mañana… mañana no sé. Aunque nos llevamos muchos años de diferencia yo sé que tenemos mucho en común, aunque vos sepas mucho y yo demasiado poco de la vida.

Con esto quiero decirte todo lo que te quiero, porque aunque siempre te lo repito, sé que te gusta que te diga lo que pienso. Sé que quizás este es un cariño diferente porque somos “hermanos” pero me quedé pensando cuando me dijiste que necesitabas “amor”. Me quedé algo pensativa y reflexioné: sos el tipo de hombre que cualquier mujer necesita. Sos un tipo comprensivo, que quiere escuchar, que sabe escuchar, que te ayuda a resolver cualquier problema. Sos dulce, tierno, cariñoso… lo cual me deja pensando: ¿Cómo es que este chico no tiene novia? Y bueno, Dios le da pan…

Pero sabemos muy bien que es un amor “entre hermanos”, un inmenso cariño entre hermanos. Solo que me asombra un poco el tema de tu soledad, que quizás te guste pero (por mucho tiempo) a nadie le gusta estar solo. Yo siempre fui una chica muy solitaria, aunque no parezca, muy de hacer la mía sin importarme lo que me dijeran los demás; pero cuando crecí me di cuenta de que necesito de alguien. Alguien que me escuche, que me quiera y que en definitiva me ame y me de lo que quiero: una relación estable, seria, sin mayor compromiso que amor duradero. Y si yo a los quince pienso eso, me imagino lo que pensarás vos que tenés 24.

Quiero decirte que sos un amigo muy especial, que te quiero mucho y quiero darte las gracias por todo lo que me das. Gracias por tu atención, realmente la necesito. Jamás, jamás, jamás te olvides de mi eterno cariño.

Clarita

¿Cómo puede amar y odiar a una misma persona? Bueno, es fácil responder a eso. 'Alejo' fue un estafador: y como todo ladrón, primero te vende el mejor hotel, con el más paradisíaco paisaje en tu ventana. Lo amas. después llegas a la playa y encontrás un estanque de agua mugrienta. Lo odias. Así son estas personas. Así era él. Así sigue siendo.

Quizás ahora me sea más fácil reconocer a este tipo de individuos pero en aquel entonces tenía solamente catorce años y, aunque creía que me las sabía todas, era simplemente una nena.

I remember going back to the place we used to lay, but I keep losing track. And now the days, they all turn black, and our dreams all start to fade; but there's no turning back.
'Cause the world keeps turning, so why do you tell me you care if you're not gonna stay? and my heart's still burning, Why do you tell me you care?

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you. I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to, but everytime I call you don't have time. I guess I'll never get to call you mine. For nothing at all, I know theres a million reasons why I shouldn't call. With nothing to say, could easily make this conversation last all day. Another lesson I didn't get to learn, your my obsession. I've got nowhere to turn.

I've been trying tell you something, but you never understand I feel like we've been going around in circles You look at me like I've become a stranger on the street, a skeleton that's hiding in you closet I see you next to me, but still you feel so far away Where did we go wrong? (Where did we go wrong?) I guess this is a part where you look at me and say: "Goodbye"

We're running out of time And you just don’t get that this is how I feel There’s a million things I hate about you! It’s just another battle When you exercise your authority When the task is finally settled Will you catch up with reality? We've been waiting way too long Now it’s time for us to play And we won’t be looking back When you’re gone.

Cuz we’ve had our rough times
Been fighting all night
And now we’re just slippin away
So you’ll give me this change To make the wrongs right, to say…

Don’t, don’t, don’t walk away
I promise I won’t let you down (you down)
If you take my hand tonight
I promise We’ll be just fine This time

If you take my hand tonight
If you take my hand tonight

Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces. You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile. If these walls could talk, they would have so much to say. Cause everytime you fight, the scars are gonna heal. But they're never gonna go away. You're falling. You're screaming. You're stuck in the same old nightmare. He's lying. You're crying. There's nothing left to salvage. Kick the door cause this is over. Get me out of here!

this could be the one last chance

To make you understand

I'd do anything

Just to hold you in my arms

To try to make you laugh

Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything

Just to fall asleep with you

Will you remember me?

'Cuz I know

I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules

Dreaming of dropping out of school

And leave this place

To never come back

There's so many things I want to say But you just don't listen to me

I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me Say goodbye Nothing I say could change your mind cuz

I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there

Everything I say You find a way to make it Sound like I was born just yesterday Everything you taught me Doesn't mean a thing So I'm going my way

I'm sick of all this waiting
And people telling me what I should be
What if I'm not so crazy
Maybe you're the one who's wrong not me

Hook
So whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna say
When we're standing on top
And do it our way
You say we got no future
You're living in the past
So listen up
That's my generation


Hey ho, Lets go
It's going down tonight
Hey ho, Lets go,
We're gonna do it till we die
Hey ho, Lets go
Cause I, I, I've got no reason to apologize
That's my generation

Everytime I see your face Everytime you look my way It’s like it all falls into place Everything feels right Ever since you walked away It left my life in disarray All I want is one more day It’s all I need Is one more day with you

Do you remember the days? Way back when we used to say Nothing can change us No one will stop us I'll never be like you I'll watch you crash and burn You're never wrong and you keep moving on

Sometimes I wish I could save you

there's so many things that I want you to know

I won't give up till its over

if it takes you forever, I want you to know

That… If you fall, stumble down,

I’ll pick you up off the ground.

If you lose faith in you,

I’ll give you strength to pull through.

Tell me you won’t give up,

cause I’ll be waiting here if you fall

you know I’ll be there for you

if only I could find the answer,

to take it all away

Not too late
Tell me how you've been,
Tell what you've seen,
Tell me that you'd like to see me too.

'Cause my heart is full of no blood,
My cup is full of no love,
Couldn't take another sip even if I wanted.

But it's not too late,
Not too late for love.

My lungs are out of air,
Yours are holding smoke,
And it's been like that for so long.

I've seen people try to change,
And I know it isn't easy,
But nothin' worth the time ever is.

Maybe the plans will change, who knows, maybe he's not deranged.

But sometimes I don't understand, the way we play. I love the things that you've given me, and most of all that I am free.

I don't miss you at all I hear children playin' laughin' so loud I don't think of your smile So if you never come to me You'll stay a distant memory Out my window I see light doing dark Your dark eyes don't haunt me And then I wonder who I am Without the warm touch of your hand

And now the day
The hour hand has spun
Before the night is done
I just have to hear
Those sweet words
Spoken like a melody

All your love
Is a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
'Til it could fit on the head of a pin

Come on in
Did you have a hard time sleeping
'Cause a heavy moon was keeping you awake
And all I know is I'm just glad to see you again

See my love
Like a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
And then you appear

What did you say
I know I saw you saying it
My ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
And your simple melody

I just have to hear
Your sweet words
Spoken like a melody
I just wanna hear
Those sweet words

Seven years
Spinning, laughing,
dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone
Eyes wide open Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone
that comes along
Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound
Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace That's all her own

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you..

what am i to you?

I left my loving, forgot my dreams
I lost them along the way
Those little things you say
When words mean so much
You never back down
And they all shy away
You always listen to me

And what do I care to get me through these sleepless nights
And what do I have to hold when no one?s there to hold me tight
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is I feel and I feel you

you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

in my head there's only you now

one more kiss could be the best thing
or one more lie could be the worst
and all these thoughts are never resting
and your not something i deserve

where angels fly, you won't play!

I'm not saying right is wrong It's up to us to make The best of all the things that eats our way And all the things that eats have past The answers in the looking glass There's four and twenty million doors Down life's endless corridor Say it loud and sing it proud And they will dances if they want to dance Please brother take to chance You know they're gonna go Which way they wanna go All we know is that we don't know What is gonna be Please brother let it be Life on the other hand won't let you understand Why we're all part of the masterplan.

Bound with all the weight
of all the words he tried to say
Chained to all the places that
he never wished to stay
Bound with all the weight
of all the words he tried to say
As he faced the sun
he cast no shadow

I never wanted to feel like this. I never thought you'd make mistakes like this. It never was that you and now it's time you knew I never ever I do not trust you. I never wanted to be like this. I never thought you'd make mistakes like this. It never was that you and now it's time you knew I never swear I do not trust you.
I'm tired of sitting home waiting for the phone to ring. While you're out doing any and everything and everybody sees how you're playing me. Calling me your girl, but I'm not gonna sit around and take this foolishness. You're acting like you can't see the matters in my head. You better play it cool or this game you'll lose I'm telling you the truth.
So don't you try to tell me You've been true to me. When I can plainly see That in your heart you're still a cheat and I know that you're love sick. It's not happening, so don't you come to me. Thinking I'll believe 'Cause it won't work for me.
I never wanted to feel like this. I never thought you'd make mistakes like this. It never was that you and now it's time you knew I never ever I do not trust you. I never wanted to be like this. I never thought you'd make mistakes like this. It never was that you and now it's time you knew I never swear I do not trust you.
What makes you think I would sit here and be fool? If you think that it's true you don't have a clue I just could not believe that you're playing me Boy what's wrong with you?

Who put the weight of the world on my shoulders? Who put the lies in the truth that you sold us?Lost behind a silver screen are all the things. You could've been to us.
So don't try to fuck up my head with your problems. I'm just tryin' to fix up my bed in the doldrums.
Lost behind a silver screen are all the things. You could've been in Love and Life so, Help me out my friend. My head just started to hurt, I don't pretend I've got all of the time in the world. So now she's gone all alone in her own universe. I still walk on 'Til I hold you within my world

Maybe I will never be all the things that I want to be. But now is not the time to cry. Now's the time to find out why I think you're the same as me. We see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna live forever. We're gonna live forever, gonna live forever, live forever; Forever.